2016 and 2017 - Starting the Spark of Faith

2016 was a rough year for me. Anxiety and depression got the better of me, and I was not travelling in the right path.

Throughout 2016 I was helping out some of my youth group friends in their fundraising for World Youth Day, that was held in Poland. Originally, I was hoping to go with them, but for reasons I couldn’t be able to go.

I’m not too sure what it was, but because of the recent terrorist attacks in Europe, I was quite frightened of their safety, especially as World Youth Day would be an easy target. During that time, I was in a battle with Christ. I kept telling God that if something happened to my friends, I wouldn’t believe in Him anymore. It wasn't until one of my dear friends, *Gracie, gave me some wisdom. She told me, "No matter what happens, everything is going to be okay”.

To be honest, I was stubborn in trusting God, but eventually I slowly believed that He would watch over my friends, and instead of complaining, fearing the future, all I could do was to trust in God’s plan and to pray to Him, giving Him all my worries. It was at that time where I accepted God to be my comforter and Saviour. After work every day I would go to my local parish and pray. It was the first time that I went and prayed without my family.

A month later, there was an unexpected death in the extended family, which was a shock to everyone. Nothing could have prevented this. This affected me deeply even though I didn’t know her much. This event reminded me of the reality and mortality of life. I thought about my loved ones such as my family and my friends, and that it could have been anyone could have happened to. I realised that I was treating the people in my life without much appreciation or love. I was being envious and selfish in my relationships with the people around me. Reflecting on all of this put an emptiness in my stomach, and that’s when I knew I had to make a change.

These two events gave me a chance to rethink my relationships with the people around me, and my devotion to God.

After those experiences, I decided to start living for God, rather than for myself. I started to explore what it meant to be a Christian, and I opened the Bible up myself and started to read some Psalms. Funnily enough the first Psalm I read in the Bible was Psalm 90: Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.’

2017 started off different to all the other years, as for the first time I didn’t have any plan for the year ahead, and honestly that unsettled me. I began the year by sending off resumes to job applications, so to hope I’d get something. Other than the uncertainty of getting a job I was for the first time excited about what the new year would bring. I somehow knew that 2017 would bring something very special. I decided to start the year off to a clean, fresh start, aiming to be the best person I could be, no matter the circumstances. However, because I was looking for work, My brain everyday was distracted by all the different job advertisements. For a break I decided to visit my local university campus for some social interactions.

It is very amazing how a sentence that someone says to you can be true, rather than just a remark to end the conversation.

I remember the night before visiting the university campus, I was speaking to a friend, mostly complaining about the lack of reply I’ve been getting from job applications. I’ll never forget that conversation, especially when she said to me “I promise you, I know something better is around the corner for you”. Hearing that, I immediately responded, “How would you know?” However, she couldn’t be more right, because the next day would be where my committed journey of knowing Christ more fully would begin.

When I was on campus, I was approached by a person who asked me if I wanted a free lollipop by doing a quick little survey. Of course, I didn't refuse, especially since I thought that I probably wouldn't be back. And mostly, I just wanted the lollipop. To be honest I wasn't paying attention to what I was filling out, I was so distracted by all the noise and excitement of the day. I found out later that the survey I filled out was for a non-denominational Christian group on campus, which I became a part of quickly. I started attending their Bible studies, and mini society events on campus where I made many new friends.

Each week during the semester, the girl, *Isabelle, who discipled me, and I, would go down to the campus lake to read the Bible, reflect on God in our lives, and pray for each other. I thank God for her friendship because I feel without her support, friendship, and genuine love for the Lord; I probably wouldn’t have been encouraged to seek God fully.

These times being a part of this university Christian society grew my faith and helped me to understand what it meant to have a relationship with God in my personal life. I attended the society’s mid-year conference, which really got me out of my comfort zone and into a deeper encounter with the Lord. Honestly, it was one of the best experiences of the year.

Just like the experience I had at my youth group; I had the same at this society. I felt like I belonged, I felt accepted for who I am. I had hope for the future and friendship that was centred around Christ.

I thank God for these two years, as they changed the way I look at life and my relationship with God. And I couldn't be more grateful.

( * in front of names indicates change of name for privacy reasons )